Monday, June 30, 2008
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Just a few Recent Photo Pics
Nothing real heavy today folks. No political ramblings or diatribes, no woeful poems of discontent, no sideways attacks at those I felt I have been wounded or insulted by. No, just a few rather random pics of a few friends I rather like (Both the friends and the photos). This first one is from Kimber from her time at "Pirate Daze" up in Westport (One my favorite places I have lived and the only small town I could ever tolerate much less like).
This next one is a promo picture of Avery and his band (Mates). These are the guys my brother plays with (Or at least DID) .
This is my new and dear friend Erin in front of the Back Porch Ramp endevour.
Avery and a very good catch.
Er damn...the bandagain. Opps.
Nice Promo shot of Avery.
This next one is a promo picture of Avery and his band (Mates). These are the guys my brother plays with (Or at least DID) .
This is my new and dear friend Erin in front of the Back Porch Ramp endevour.
Avery and a very good catch.
Er damn...the bandagain. Opps.
Nice Promo shot of Avery.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Sometimes Now
No sliver of moon
The dark hurts my eyes
Dream-chimed awake, solemnized
Counting the breaths
That threaten the calm
Cos you're not here and it's too late to call
l see Cruel scenes of how bad I've been
Pulled low, oh how could I know?
Fogs, voices, tears
Sometimes I lie shaken awake
Blistered with crazy thoughts of you
And a hundred ways to lose
Sometimes sense is too remote
Dark stars threaten to conspire
They scare like your eyes
One of those sometimes is now
The dark hurts my eyes
Dream-chimed awake, solemnized
Counting the breaths
That threaten the calm
Cos you're not here and it's too late to call
l see Cruel scenes of how bad I've been
Pulled low, oh how could I know?
Fogs, voices, tears
Sometimes I lie shaken awake
Blistered with crazy thoughts of you
And a hundred ways to lose
Sometimes sense is too remote
Dark stars threaten to conspire
They scare like your eyes
One of those sometimes is now
Waiting for safety
In the solace of the sun
When the fevers of love are driven home
Help me forget
The last touch of you
I can't believe I didn't say I love you
Sometimes I feel such shame
Lost words, hide my eyes
I'm not myself with you
Sometimes I feel such blame
How could I ever explain?
When one of those sometimes is now.
In the solace of the sun
When the fevers of love are driven home
Help me forget
The last touch of you
I can't believe I didn't say I love you
Sometimes I feel such shame
Lost words, hide my eyes
I'm not myself with you
Sometimes I feel such blame
How could I ever explain?
When one of those sometimes is now.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
A New Addition and a Happy Birthday
Okay I just wrote the last blog and then read an e-mail where Shannon (My former Shanzi) basically offered me an olive branch and I feel like diarrhea in a wicker basket. I think her offer was genuine and well I lay down my arms of battle and accept. I want peace more than revenge or reprecucity.
Just as I love Joy in my sideways sort of way I to love Shannon though my understanding is lesser and my wounds not yet healed to the point where I don’t walk with anger.
So for the record I will let the words I have composed and in the future will compose stand as testament to the moments and the times. To the thoughts and the tears, the rage and sorrow. The compassions and the gentle hope of redemption and peace.
I said it at the end of my last6 entry and I meant it but I will say it here again and say;
I hope you did have a good birthday. I love and miss Daisy, Hailee and you...and Ariel and Seirra as well. IT is a strange life we all lead.
Just as I love Joy in my sideways sort of way I to love Shannon though my understanding is lesser and my wounds not yet healed to the point where I don’t walk with anger.
So for the record I will let the words I have composed and in the future will compose stand as testament to the moments and the times. To the thoughts and the tears, the rage and sorrow. The compassions and the gentle hope of redemption and peace.
I said it at the end of my last6 entry and I meant it but I will say it here again and say;
I hope you did have a good birthday. I love and miss Daisy, Hailee and you...and Ariel and Seirra as well. IT is a strange life we all lead.
Grant Me A Little Anger, I Deserve It
There are those who think they can address me in words.
They are up against forces they can not fathom.
This probably explains why they had rather “kick my ass” than debate me. It is a sign of passive-aggressive behavior, and well…stupidity.
Ha.
Ha.
That is all I have to say to that.
Play “Lord Slayer Death Dragon Master” (Or what-ever, give me a break) a little longer or what ever f@#Ked up bullshit that might pass the time for them between masturbating, worshiping Baal, and sticking it to what ever will let them while they fantasize about Paris Hilton (Or whomever is convenientand isn't convenience what it's all about? I have heard evidence into the mind of Poniccie on this topic here, by the way.
Well in my great triumph of the vernacular I may also take consolation in the fact that I have been sidewise assaulted by the flaked out “Make it up as you go along” crowd. With absolutely nothing to substantiate their presumed titles. What a frigging joke! I suppose no more out ragious than my title of "Saint Tuesday" but at least I know that that is a laitgth-ian joke.
Play “Lord Slayer Death Dragon Master” (Or what-ever, give me a break) a little longer or what ever f@#Ked up bullshit that might pass the time for them between masturbating, worshiping Baal, and sticking it to what ever will let them while they fantasize about Paris Hilton (Or whomever is convenientand isn't convenience what it's all about? I have heard evidence into the mind of Poniccie on this topic here, by the way.
Well in my great triumph of the vernacular I may also take consolation in the fact that I have been sidewise assaulted by the flaked out “Make it up as you go along” crowd. With absolutely nothing to substantiate their presumed titles. What a frigging joke! I suppose no more out ragious than my title of "Saint Tuesday" but at least I know that that is a laitgth-ian joke.
“Some times I feel like just getting a shotgun and pulling a Hemingway”
This a quote that got me into trouble. Taken out of context and misused.
?
Seriously, are you kidding me?
It was thrown up in my face that Hemingway may not have not died honorably. The same could be said of so many of my hero’s, and probably a lot of everybodies. Grant you a lot did commit suicide, so the FUCK what?
They did not all commit suicide it's not really about that anyway. If you are so depressed you just can't work or function so that the goverment must send you a check then gode nobbies for you, fine, but certainly don't critisize those who actually did something profound with their depression instead of getting a free ticket to ride. Like writting brilliant works of litature or creating astronomical art.
I feel as if; we are beings free by our own will we have the RIGHT to decide the time and method of our passing when the declared time comes.
Hell, Vonnegut, Adams, and well most of the others died comparatively young but of natural causes. I am not even sure how this was meant to insult me other than to make me aware that I was being monitored (As if I gave one goddamn).
Am I angry over this? No, not really, I just had a few more thoughts to add to the record I desire to create and cross reference (It’s actually quite amusing in a petty little way [I am not afraid of my thoughts, by pulling them out and slamming them down in this filthy sort of way I conquer the more base members of my mental collective].)
I would tell you the biggest mistake people make about me but that would be counter productive!
Just a joke there.
I guess my biggest mistake is my inability to keep my opinion (Even if just for the moment) to my self.
I don’t hate anybody and by that I specificaly am refering to my ex, Shannon. She is inferred here and is minorly hinted at in this diatribe. I love her but I think she makes the silliest and most desperate choices, hell even I could be considered on of those.
She always has made choices below her and I suspect she always will. I'll bet even her dreaded mother would agree on this fact.
As the sailors say “any port in a storm” and her whole life has been a storm and for that I weep, and wish her well.
I just don’t trust the characters in her life. Except her mother Sandy…a competent, caring and yet a complete cunt of a tyrant (I used to call her the wicked witch of the west) Then there is Tom, her step father, an extremely intelligent and trust worthy fellow.
As for her real father “Bruce”…I will only say two things…1. He believes that Star Wars was based in a real event from our past.
2. He believes absolutely everything he hears except the truth…he isn’t stupid but he is out there…as rational people we have it as our duty to correct the crazies so that the free thinkers and eccentrics don’t take the blame.
That’s enough for now. I hope to get an update on my Daughter Daisy some time(?). Not that I nor my father will hold our collective breath, or I will just have to find another way, hopefully a gentle one.
Shannon’s Birthday was here a day or so ago, she is now the same age as I was when she met me. I hope it was a good one. Er, uh, I just hope it was a good one. The rest can be told else wise by others.
Monday, June 23, 2008
The Ghost of My Dance
Ich arbeitete die ganze Nacht in meinem Büro
Wenn ein Mann, den ich kürzlich getötet hatte
Gerufenen mich auf von einem Telefon nahe mein Gebäude
So habe ich das Fenster an ihm aufgepasst
Er hat die gleiche unterwürfige Weise gehabt
Das war der Grund den ich habe lassen ihn töten
So um meine Nerven zu beruhigen, die ich dieses Lied gesungen habe
Zu ihm, über dem Telefon
Drehen Sie, Drehung herum um
Es gibt ein Ding dort, der gefunden werden kann
Drehen Sie, Drehung herum um
Es ist ein menschlicher Schädel auf dem Boden
Menschlicher Schädel auf dem Boden
Drehen Sie um
Ich war aus allein im Friedhof
Ich machte einen auslegend Tanz
Als ich etwas schwer gefühlt habe, und hat gedeutet
Streiken Sie mich im hinteren vom Hals
Und dann der Geist von meinem Tanzlehrer
Gestoßenen mich in ein offenes Grab hinunter
Und als Schmutz sie hinunter geregnet hat, hat ein Xylofon gespielt
Und hat mich dieses Lied gesungen
Drehen Sie, Drehung herum um
Es gibt ein Ding dort, der gefunden werden kann
Drehen Sie, Drehung herum um
Es ist ein menschlicher Schädel auf dem Boden
Menschlicher Schädel auf dem Boden
Drehen Sie um
Wir winkten unsere Arme aus dem Fenster
Von einem schnellen bewegenden Passagierzug
Handeln in einer vorbeugenden Mode
Bis der Ingenieur, dessen zurück gedreht worden war
Und der wir gedacht haben, würde finden uns sehr Amüsieren
Schnell hat seinen Kopf herum gedreht
Und sein Gesicht, das eine Papier weiße Maske des Übels war
Hat uns dieses Lied gesungen
Drehen Sie, um (rund) Drehung herum (rund)
Es gibt ein Ding dort, der gefunden werden kann (gibt es ein Ding dort, dass) sein kann
Drehen Sie, um (hat gefunden) Drehung herum (rund)
Es ist ein menschlicher Schädel auf dem Boden (es ist ein menschlicher Schädel auf dem)
Menschlicher Schädel (erden) auf dem Boden (rund)
Drehen Sie um (Drehung herum, Drehung herum)
Wenn ein Mann, den ich kürzlich getötet hatte
Gerufenen mich auf von einem Telefon nahe mein Gebäude
So habe ich das Fenster an ihm aufgepasst
Er hat die gleiche unterwürfige Weise gehabt
Das war der Grund den ich habe lassen ihn töten
So um meine Nerven zu beruhigen, die ich dieses Lied gesungen habe
Zu ihm, über dem Telefon
Drehen Sie, Drehung herum um
Es gibt ein Ding dort, der gefunden werden kann
Drehen Sie, Drehung herum um
Es ist ein menschlicher Schädel auf dem Boden
Menschlicher Schädel auf dem Boden
Drehen Sie um
Ich war aus allein im Friedhof
Ich machte einen auslegend Tanz
Als ich etwas schwer gefühlt habe, und hat gedeutet
Streiken Sie mich im hinteren vom Hals
Und dann der Geist von meinem Tanzlehrer
Gestoßenen mich in ein offenes Grab hinunter
Und als Schmutz sie hinunter geregnet hat, hat ein Xylofon gespielt
Und hat mich dieses Lied gesungen
Drehen Sie, Drehung herum um
Es gibt ein Ding dort, der gefunden werden kann
Drehen Sie, Drehung herum um
Es ist ein menschlicher Schädel auf dem Boden
Menschlicher Schädel auf dem Boden
Drehen Sie um
Wir winkten unsere Arme aus dem Fenster
Von einem schnellen bewegenden Passagierzug
Handeln in einer vorbeugenden Mode
Bis der Ingenieur, dessen zurück gedreht worden war
Und der wir gedacht haben, würde finden uns sehr Amüsieren
Schnell hat seinen Kopf herum gedreht
Und sein Gesicht, das eine Papier weiße Maske des Übels war
Hat uns dieses Lied gesungen
Drehen Sie, um (rund) Drehung herum (rund)
Es gibt ein Ding dort, der gefunden werden kann (gibt es ein Ding dort, dass) sein kann
Drehen Sie, um (hat gefunden) Drehung herum (rund)
Es ist ein menschlicher Schädel auf dem Boden (es ist ein menschlicher Schädel auf dem)
Menschlicher Schädel (erden) auf dem Boden (rund)
Drehen Sie um (Drehung herum, Drehung herum)
Dig My Grave
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Friday, June 20, 2008
God's Mission
Monday, June 16, 2008
Can't Move Without Notification
Not that it matters, I have realized that these matters will have to be settled in court .(Or so my land lord who is a local civil lawyer) tells me.
I have not received ONE daisy update since May 11th. Keep in mind these were to be sent weekly along with an accompanying phone call. Nothing.
Well color me surprised.
Am I angry? Yes. But sympathetic as well. Shannon just aparently hates me now. Guess I shouldn't have spoken my mind in such a raw way, well the record is there now for all eyes to see. Whether they can read or not yet. I trust time. It tends to be friendly to me.
Can I do anything about it. ..Here’s the groovy part…Yes I can.
A move has taken place and that’s how she lost custody of two of her daughters to their father. No notification.
Am I angry? Yes. But sympathetic as well. Shannon just aparently hates me now. Guess I shouldn't have spoken my mind in such a raw way, well the record is there now for all eyes to see. Whether they can read or not yet. I trust time. It tends to be friendly to me.
Can I do anything about it. ..Here’s the groovy part…Yes I can.
A move has taken place and that’s how she lost custody of two of her daughters to their father. No notification.
I plan no such action such as Ted so took but my lawyer tells me I might just have a chance to do something as she didn’t notify me of the move.
No anger here, no hate. I still love that weird girl in a sideways sort of way and miss talking to her, but I will be respected. I only want to be kept awares of what is going on in this doomed affair. Sort of like that dumb guy who watches a volcano blow it's top until it's to late to run.
No anger here, no hate. I still love that weird girl in a sideways sort of way and miss talking to her, but I will be respected. I only want to be kept awares of what is going on in this doomed affair. Sort of like that dumb guy who watches a volcano blow it's top until it's to late to run.
Saint Helens ring a bell there?
Well ther you have it. It was just on my mind. I of course have left a little more on the other blog but have not finished it so it is not up for the read just yet.
I will keep all concerned updated.
Victoria
Long ago life was clean
Sex was bad and obscene
And the rich were so mean
Stately homes for the lords
Croquet lawns, village greens
Victoria was my queenVictoria, victoria, victoria, toriaI was born, lucky me
In a land that I loveThough I am poor,
I am freeWhen I grow
I shall fightFor this land I shall die
Let her sun never set
Victoria, victoria, victoria, toriaVictoria, victoria, victoria, toriaLand of hope and gloria
Land of my victoria
Land of hope and gloria
Land of my victoria
Victoria, toria
Victoria, victoria, victoria, toria
Canada to india
Australia to cornwall
Singapore to hong kong
From the west to the east
From the rich to the poor
Victoria loved them all
Victoria, victoria, victoria, toria
Victoria, victoria, victoria
To my new friend, this is one of my favorite songs. Orginaly by the "Kinks" but I prefere the version by the Fall
The Big Question Or Not
Now pay attention here. There are a people as bright as me and even a few much more bright (What a delightful find). Not to mention (Or suppose to mention, Ha!) a lawyer involved. I told you the stacks were high. Higher than all but three of you know.
To play is but trivial, however the outcome will be rather major for at least 4 of you and of significance a top at least one more. Guessing the players is just a minor part of the Game. A way of saying …the horses are one the track.
As Deanna would say… “Are You ready?,” followed by some sort “oww” mean cat like noise that motivates men the way a dead cow motivates vultures (Oh I could have said so many mean things right there that it hurts me not to have done so! Ouch!). of course she would be nude, naked, naughty and absolutely irresistible at the time.
I am afraid that sort of deviance I can not offer here but I still hear it ringing in my ears and I have a few scars from those interesting weeks to boot. It's odd what we carrywith us into the future.
We all move on to our more prefect imperfections, imprefections that will be replaced by the next set of genital-ia that have to some how justify to the former set. not that the two are related in anything more than the most general way. From Roast beef to tacos, from sardines to andue sausage, does any of it matter anyway? Our opinions of what is great and fantastic change as soon as we find a new bit of "strange" (Or at least I am told, well and truth be told know a bit about).
Yeah in the end meat is cheap and hearts are a fragile exchange of what ever beast we decide to show. We seek to heal our own wounds with the blood of others. Point said, stab exercised.
I think prehapes we would exchange all our harsh words with a time of a last soft kiss and a gentle goodbye. A silent but under stood goodbye and good luck.
Yeah, but we don't allow that to happen. We had rather spread our hurt or what-ever weird thing it is we feel into a prolonged and pointless war.
I can say this as I am as guilty as any one whom I point my finger at. Can I do anything about it?
No.
So all the sadder. All the more strange vomiting in the night. Pain is pain and when that is all we have to hold on to, we do. Though it be a tragedy in the making. Pain is better than nothing and nothing is better than pain. Er, Uh Right?
You move on. You do new or sometimes old things only better.
In the end all you have really done is tarnish gold.
Clever words and sideways staments just solidify a sour belly of resentment that really could have been avoided if we let anything (one) other than our hearts navigate the journey. Tears eventualy run until they are but blood. Blood is a sign of the wounded and the wounded bite. If in justifiable action or not the wounded strike out and normally they make the fericest opponents (Opponents we when what we need are allies). So is life. So is Death. In the end (So to speak) is there any difference?
What good ever came of anger (Except all those revolutions that brought about various amounts of freedom) ?
Do we care? Can one hate so harshly with out having loved deeply?
I doubt it, only great passion inspires either emotion.
Then there is the ever so trival matter of viseral attitude. You know, the "I am gonna kick your ass mentality". You nor anyone else is gonna kick my ass any time soon (Or later).
Totaly for the most base of barbarians among us and a symptom of primative stupidity. I'm not gonna kick anyones ass any time soon. Not with anything less than words and retoric. You really have to push me to get meto that point. I don't want that, PERIOD. Neither does anyone else even half way familar with my linguistic abilities .
"A gentleman will walk but never run" is an axiom I live by. I have had my ass handed to me a few times, but I have never backed down. I never will. I have stood my ground and that of others on more than one occassion and stood my by own passifist beliefs at the same time. If you need a meaty machoist show down then I feel a bit sorry for you.
EVOLVE and catch up with the better part of humanity.
Maybe that is as stupid as any violent threat as well. I do not know for certain, butit feels right to me. You only show your own insecurities when you make threats. Action speaks so much louder in these cases. Show up and throw down or shut up and lay down, as they say in boxing.
"I'm gonna kick your ass" ...wow brilliant. I am impressed. How about I am gonna hit you upside the head with a brick when you arn't looking...that's more my philosophy, no such thing as a fair fight except in boxing (Sometimes). Yet even that is childish and moronoc.
Well we are violent apes. we are subject to behavior that got us in trouble all the way back to pre-school (For those among you went to pre-school).
You know, the “Na Na a Boo Boo” effect”
I bet even guys with 12 inch cocks that can pump it away for hours fall short of the 4 ½ inch cock that replaces him for the year or so until said vagina finds an at least half way substitute. It's about displacment not replacment. If you have confidence in what you do then you are all right and it is not the sort of thing that should be shared and displayed anyway. If one needs to brag, well then obviously you need to brag. No contest.
Just as the banging booty has to ride second seat to the smorgasbord of available trim. Great in quantity but lacking in local flavor (I.E. Having that trim trained).
In the end is it not all a game of “ have moved on but some part of my heart hangs on to you but look what I’m doing now?”
I don’t think anyone really wants to hurt each other but we can’t help it. It some how justifies us in the worst possiable way. What we need is peace and friendship not put downs and breusteght noghts.
All the statements of how well we are doing without the other and how much better the sexual performance (A factor we worry about even when we are digging new canals…see what I am stating?) is it not that we have moved on blah blah blah blah.
It's all just meaningless perspective garbage. Of Course your new lover is better than your last. Other wise we would be diminished by being forced to have to move on to the next bit of strange. That is a reflection onto ourselves and not a positive one. so as I said every dick or bit of trim is better than the last when in tuth all to often the better part of love making actually is in residence far back before the comparison could ever have been made. \And why does it have to be about the physical? Do not our partners reflect our emotional needs of the times we were with them? Some Greater Some poorer. Should any comparison be made at all?
Does it not take away from ourselves to put another down over so emotional an affair?
I try to make it a policy not to discuss other partners with present ones as it is none of their business. It is a policy I wish all my past lovers would take but I certainly know some do not. Oh, well. I stand upon my hill and am content with the flowers that bloom upon it.
In the end the people most hurt by these transitional relationships are the ones who entered into it with the crushed long timer and didn’t realize it. They eventually will run out their duty as a booty call and fade away.
We on the other hand seeking out as much pain reliever as we can and labeling it anything handy.We will suffer through all the doubt wonder any natural human would in so flaky a relationship. However some will not as that is all they know. Being unable to maintain any sort of relationship for more than a few years they will be damned to repeat this process over and over again(Maybe I am of such lot, maybe most of us are as well).
Sigh. Am I one of these?
Maybe, but I have only had one real relationship that shows hold out for hope. A fantasy from a dream drawn clear upon paper but lost in the fog of daily life. Is she real? Is she there at all?
I think so. I may have already met her and do not know it. She may not exist at all. I have always had a lot of success when I was alone. I just hope she is there. I ope I find herI just hope when I do find her that she is as at least a little kinky!
Say good night Gracie.
"Good Night Gracie"
P.S. I wrote this rather rapidly and have not spell checked it.
Sorry, I will do that later.
To play is but trivial, however the outcome will be rather major for at least 4 of you and of significance a top at least one more. Guessing the players is just a minor part of the Game. A way of saying …the horses are one the track.
As Deanna would say… “Are You ready?,” followed by some sort “oww” mean cat like noise that motivates men the way a dead cow motivates vultures (Oh I could have said so many mean things right there that it hurts me not to have done so! Ouch!). of course she would be nude, naked, naughty and absolutely irresistible at the time.
I am afraid that sort of deviance I can not offer here but I still hear it ringing in my ears and I have a few scars from those interesting weeks to boot. It's odd what we carrywith us into the future.
We all move on to our more prefect imperfections, imprefections that will be replaced by the next set of genital-ia that have to some how justify to the former set. not that the two are related in anything more than the most general way. From Roast beef to tacos, from sardines to andue sausage, does any of it matter anyway? Our opinions of what is great and fantastic change as soon as we find a new bit of "strange" (Or at least I am told, well and truth be told know a bit about).
Yeah in the end meat is cheap and hearts are a fragile exchange of what ever beast we decide to show. We seek to heal our own wounds with the blood of others. Point said, stab exercised.
I think prehapes we would exchange all our harsh words with a time of a last soft kiss and a gentle goodbye. A silent but under stood goodbye and good luck.
Yeah, but we don't allow that to happen. We had rather spread our hurt or what-ever weird thing it is we feel into a prolonged and pointless war.
I can say this as I am as guilty as any one whom I point my finger at. Can I do anything about it?
No.
So all the sadder. All the more strange vomiting in the night. Pain is pain and when that is all we have to hold on to, we do. Though it be a tragedy in the making. Pain is better than nothing and nothing is better than pain. Er, Uh Right?
You move on. You do new or sometimes old things only better.
In the end all you have really done is tarnish gold.
Clever words and sideways staments just solidify a sour belly of resentment that really could have been avoided if we let anything (one) other than our hearts navigate the journey. Tears eventualy run until they are but blood. Blood is a sign of the wounded and the wounded bite. If in justifiable action or not the wounded strike out and normally they make the fericest opponents (Opponents we when what we need are allies). So is life. So is Death. In the end (So to speak) is there any difference?
What good ever came of anger (Except all those revolutions that brought about various amounts of freedom) ?
Do we care? Can one hate so harshly with out having loved deeply?
I doubt it, only great passion inspires either emotion.
Then there is the ever so trival matter of viseral attitude. You know, the "I am gonna kick your ass mentality". You nor anyone else is gonna kick my ass any time soon (Or later).
Totaly for the most base of barbarians among us and a symptom of primative stupidity. I'm not gonna kick anyones ass any time soon. Not with anything less than words and retoric. You really have to push me to get meto that point. I don't want that, PERIOD. Neither does anyone else even half way familar with my linguistic abilities .
"A gentleman will walk but never run" is an axiom I live by. I have had my ass handed to me a few times, but I have never backed down. I never will. I have stood my ground and that of others on more than one occassion and stood my by own passifist beliefs at the same time. If you need a meaty machoist show down then I feel a bit sorry for you.
EVOLVE and catch up with the better part of humanity.
Maybe that is as stupid as any violent threat as well. I do not know for certain, butit feels right to me. You only show your own insecurities when you make threats. Action speaks so much louder in these cases. Show up and throw down or shut up and lay down, as they say in boxing.
"I'm gonna kick your ass" ...wow brilliant. I am impressed. How about I am gonna hit you upside the head with a brick when you arn't looking...that's more my philosophy, no such thing as a fair fight except in boxing (Sometimes). Yet even that is childish and moronoc.
Well we are violent apes. we are subject to behavior that got us in trouble all the way back to pre-school (For those among you went to pre-school).
You know, the “Na Na a Boo Boo” effect”
I bet even guys with 12 inch cocks that can pump it away for hours fall short of the 4 ½ inch cock that replaces him for the year or so until said vagina finds an at least half way substitute. It's about displacment not replacment. If you have confidence in what you do then you are all right and it is not the sort of thing that should be shared and displayed anyway. If one needs to brag, well then obviously you need to brag. No contest.
Just as the banging booty has to ride second seat to the smorgasbord of available trim. Great in quantity but lacking in local flavor (I.E. Having that trim trained).
In the end is it not all a game of “ have moved on but some part of my heart hangs on to you but look what I’m doing now?”
I don’t think anyone really wants to hurt each other but we can’t help it. It some how justifies us in the worst possiable way. What we need is peace and friendship not put downs and breusteght noghts.
All the statements of how well we are doing without the other and how much better the sexual performance (A factor we worry about even when we are digging new canals…see what I am stating?) is it not that we have moved on blah blah blah blah.
It's all just meaningless perspective garbage. Of Course your new lover is better than your last. Other wise we would be diminished by being forced to have to move on to the next bit of strange. That is a reflection onto ourselves and not a positive one. so as I said every dick or bit of trim is better than the last when in tuth all to often the better part of love making actually is in residence far back before the comparison could ever have been made. \And why does it have to be about the physical? Do not our partners reflect our emotional needs of the times we were with them? Some Greater Some poorer. Should any comparison be made at all?
Does it not take away from ourselves to put another down over so emotional an affair?
I try to make it a policy not to discuss other partners with present ones as it is none of their business. It is a policy I wish all my past lovers would take but I certainly know some do not. Oh, well. I stand upon my hill and am content with the flowers that bloom upon it.
In the end the people most hurt by these transitional relationships are the ones who entered into it with the crushed long timer and didn’t realize it. They eventually will run out their duty as a booty call and fade away.
We on the other hand seeking out as much pain reliever as we can and labeling it anything handy.We will suffer through all the doubt wonder any natural human would in so flaky a relationship. However some will not as that is all they know. Being unable to maintain any sort of relationship for more than a few years they will be damned to repeat this process over and over again(Maybe I am of such lot, maybe most of us are as well).
Sigh. Am I one of these?
Maybe, but I have only had one real relationship that shows hold out for hope. A fantasy from a dream drawn clear upon paper but lost in the fog of daily life. Is she real? Is she there at all?
I think so. I may have already met her and do not know it. She may not exist at all. I have always had a lot of success when I was alone. I just hope she is there. I ope I find herI just hope when I do find her that she is as at least a little kinky!
Say good night Gracie.
"Good Night Gracie"
P.S. I wrote this rather rapidly and have not spell checked it.
Sorry, I will do that later.
The Difference between Dwarves, Gnomes and Leprechauns
Liar, Liar #@&* for Hire
Not really for hire so much as...well never mind, lets just say some standards are simply different and neither is more right or wrong than the other.
Here by invitation or opportunity you will find your invitation to the game, the second clue is given some where within. Are you clever enough to see it? Am I clever enough to hide it?
Now, new age, U.F.O.’ers just need not apply. Just go quietly to your convention. Play D&D and pretend to worship Teutonic gods of the long removed Aryan pursuit. (Racist Mother Fuckers)
Liar, Liar, nasty-word-that's rymie, for Hire.
Liar, Liar, nasty-word-that's rymie, for Hire.
Or the Difference between Lying and Betrayal by deed.
I only bring up the subject as in the past I could not or I would have been thrown to the wolves instead of the slightly smaller jackels, I.E. I can speak freely now. About every thing from verbal abuse to actually being struck by flying decrotive conversational scultures.
Shannon often accused me of lying and well that is true enough, in it's own way. I never raised a hand. I never said a word not rooted in the truth of the moment and often held my tounge in fear of what might come if I let the beast fly.
Shannon often accused me of lying and well that is true enough, in it's own way. I never raised a hand. I never said a word not rooted in the truth of the moment and often held my tounge in fear of what might come if I let the beast fly.
I did lie about a lot of things. Most of them to perpetuate this illusion of self I have. However one thing I never did and she with out flaw she never failed to do was break promises.
From I will never hit you again to I will never let you spend the night out in the cold wet rain. (I wonder If I should include the time) (Or Times, as I suspect), that she drugged my coffee to motivate my absent sex drive…that is truly a gray area).
My intrest is peaked and my worry for my daughter tripled by;
Unattractive people who are really into incense and incest. And Present, smoking pot, proably doung Meth and blowing smoke in Daisy's face (I have witnessed this first hand, the principle was to make her "mellow" and go to sleep).
Unattractive people who are really into incense and incest. And Present, smoking pot, proably doung Meth and blowing smoke in Daisy's face (I have witnessed this first hand, the principle was to make her "mellow" and go to sleep).
Anyway, Ill' bet you know the groovy crowd I am refering to,You know the chanting, Pan loving, don't have a clue, sky clad, middle aged over-weight crowd. I bet you have seen them in an "Oh gross" moment on HBO'S "Real Sex" program.
I guess I shouldn’t be to critical as I have been laid by a small number of these people but I will say they should just drop the whole wizard / witch bullshit and just go with the pervert thing. It really works better and is more honest. Hell I could even ride a little while on that trip so long as the wrinkles and “flamp” are kept to a manageable level.
Guess what I am saying her is what is the difference between lying on the surface to protect privacy and image and lying to get your stuff touched by a stranger are really very different things. I like the lies I tell I guess because I know the truth behind them and always have while the other variety is just full of self serving oh my that feels nice mentality. We all like our stuff touched it's just a matter of how far we will comprimise our souls to have it donwe and exactly how Selective we are.
Guess what I am saying her is what is the difference between lying on the surface to protect privacy and image and lying to get your stuff touched by a stranger are really very different things. I like the lies I tell I guess because I know the truth behind them and always have while the other variety is just full of self serving oh my that feels nice mentality. We all like our stuff touched it's just a matter of how far we will comprimise our souls to have it donwe and exactly how Selective we are.
Hell you can do both without lying to any one, ther are clubs for that sort of thing, but what do I know? Ha!
Yeah.
The Players
Here by invitation or cleverness you will find your oppertunity.
Here by invitation or opportunity you will find your invitation. Now new age, U.F.O.’ers need apply. Just go quietly to your convention. Play D&D and pretend to worship Teutonic gods of the long removed Aryan pursuit. (Racist Mother Fuckers) .
The First part is "How do I gain entry?"
Ask. Or jump ahead, proving what a clever little Sajfg Gnome you are and answer the first riddle.
The Players
http://topher-shanzi.blogspot.com/2008/06/players.html
There are several and evryone is welcome. Kiege Mastie Brine
There are several and evryone is welcome. Kiege Mastie Brine
The Game
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Shannon Has Cut Me Off From My Daughter
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
"Some things never change." Oh Really Now?
"Some times I feel like just getting a shotgun and pulling a Hemingway."
Yup, and some things never change and other things you thought were different were always the same old game.
Entropy ALWAYS wins.
Leopards don’t change their spots and if you want a curious look at the current state of things you have to do little more than look back. History is one hell of a teacher, as Chaos theory teaches us: there are patterns in what at first seems to be random occurrences but even in the greatest examples of the acceleration of entropy you will (Not might but Will) find patterns of recurrence. Patterns hidden with in the abstract. Singular courses of action that repeat themselves over and over again with only the slightest variation in details. It’s all there in the laws and formulas of “strange attractors” and the Humboldt equations. Abstract as they are, they apply to both the wildly weird world of non linear physics, organic patterns in nature and human behavior.
There is order in disorder, and it is as obvious as a pimple on your nose. It takes no genius to see this once the truth has been laid bare.
Bleh!
There is order in disorder, and it is as obvious as a pimple on your nose. It takes no genius to see this once the truth has been laid bare.
Bleh!
"I'm probably going to regret this..."
"One of the whores from your harem has escaped and has been scratching around my garbage can, keep them on a leash please."
A quote, I kid you not.
Now who is calling the Kettle black? How funny.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Daisy In Question
Ego
You know I have been reading over some of my older blogs and a few other items and it occurred to me, I am one hell of a writer. Say what you will but I put word to paper pretty damn well, better I think than I draw or paint ( And I don’t do to shabby a job in those categories either) well there’s my mild ego trip for the week. Get a grip.
Letters from the edge of the clift
I have almost started using this blog as a diary and well maybe I should stop. My Bi-Polar nature makes me do odd thing at times and my moods swing wildly and rapidly (I am what they call a rapid cycler). Though the new cocktail of meds I am now on seems to help some what they are no where near completely effective (Either I am hopeless or the doctors are out of their league).
I really am confused these days and I shouldn’t be. Depressed? Angry? Manic? Yeah that’s about right. I have a promising new job, a pretty damn decent apartment, I am meeting people left and right (Why the hell was that so difficult in Oregon (More on Oregon later).. I have finally found a program to help me with my med (I think I am having an adverse reaction from the Depakote).
I can’t see or contact my kids and that’s probably what’s at the heart of my confusion. On the one hand I think maybe it might be better to sever all ties. That would save both the kids the grief of having an unreachable father and me the grief of not being able to see them. On the other I want desperately to be a part of their lives.
In the end I just don’t know. I really just don’t know. I am lost and approaching the cross roads, where the Devil awaits.
Some times I feel like just getting a shotgun and pulling a Hemingway.
I love them (My children) like nothing I have every loved in my life. I love their mothers as well. I’m nuts and this why virtually every close relationship (I am not implying a sexual relationship here, I am just making reference to those I have become close to) ends in glorious, tragic failure.
With the women who bore me children I suppose that we were sort tragedy bound.
I am getting along these days, the meds help I (I am on shitload of them) but grief has a way of finding you in the quiet little moments between your breath, even when you feel okay about yourself and your life it will prick you.
Well that’s about it for Saint Tuesday today. I am going to post this on my other two blogs just to back up the record. I may or may not re edit and expand it, who knows I am an unpredictable and kooky guy.
P.S. Did you know that my favorite letter is “K”?
I really am confused these days and I shouldn’t be. Depressed? Angry? Manic? Yeah that’s about right. I have a promising new job, a pretty damn decent apartment, I am meeting people left and right (Why the hell was that so difficult in Oregon (More on Oregon later).. I have finally found a program to help me with my med (I think I am having an adverse reaction from the Depakote).
I can’t see or contact my kids and that’s probably what’s at the heart of my confusion. On the one hand I think maybe it might be better to sever all ties. That would save both the kids the grief of having an unreachable father and me the grief of not being able to see them. On the other I want desperately to be a part of their lives.
In the end I just don’t know. I really just don’t know. I am lost and approaching the cross roads, where the Devil awaits.
Some times I feel like just getting a shotgun and pulling a Hemingway.
I love them (My children) like nothing I have every loved in my life. I love their mothers as well. I’m nuts and this why virtually every close relationship (I am not implying a sexual relationship here, I am just making reference to those I have become close to) ends in glorious, tragic failure.
With the women who bore me children I suppose that we were sort tragedy bound.
I am getting along these days, the meds help I (I am on shitload of them) but grief has a way of finding you in the quiet little moments between your breath, even when you feel okay about yourself and your life it will prick you.
Well that’s about it for Saint Tuesday today. I am going to post this on my other two blogs just to back up the record. I may or may not re edit and expand it, who knows I am an unpredictable and kooky guy.
P.S. Did you know that my favorite letter is “K”?
About me
- I'm Saint Tuesday
- From Elberton, Georgia, United States
- Crabby and clever. I am both kind and crunchy. Though many think John was the Walrus in truth it was Paul, me? I am the Grey Mouse.
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