Human Wreckage
I am not perfect nor even close. I have a great number of issues that I am working very hard to remedy here in my own private Walden. I am depressed, I am angry, I am lost in so very many ways and I am trying to find my way to the break waters.(I should note...most of the day I am pretty happy in my garden or in the feilds with the critters or whatever....life no matter what is never aone huge black cloud) I have screamed and broken things (Including myself) but I have never raised my hand in violence to another. I am and always have been a pacifist. I do not hit people.
I remember the night my brother started a fight with the neighbor and I walked down and stood between them with my hands in my pockets while I was struck time and time again, yet I never raised my fist. I suppose this makes me weak in some way but it is who I am. I bark loudly but the only person I have ever hurt physically has been myself.
Knowing what I know now I think MAYBE I should have shown someone one what it is like to hit some one who can and WILL hit them back. I suppose only time and death will ever tell what there is to say about that.
I HATE BULLIES
I am frightened. I am frightened in a way I never have been before. I have ranted and raved over issues that made me angry before but I can’t really ever say I have been scared before ….not really. All other issues were just trite babblings on my part relating ultimately to myself. But theses days of Mars rising I am scared not for me but for my daughter. I am near powerless to do anything but watch the state had my little girl back over to a women who has shown nothing but a lust for violence in the past back over to her rather than to me and my Father. I suppose they think a few weeks of anger management courses will undo a lifetime of human wreckage.
I remember the night my brother started a fight with the neighbor and I walked down and stood between them with my hands in my pockets while I was struck time and time again, yet I never raised my fist. I suppose this makes me weak in some way but it is who I am. I bark loudly but the only person I have ever hurt physically has been myself.
Knowing what I know now I think MAYBE I should have shown someone one what it is like to hit some one who can and WILL hit them back. I suppose only time and death will ever tell what there is to say about that.
I HATE BULLIES
I am frightened. I am frightened in a way I never have been before. I have ranted and raved over issues that made me angry before but I can’t really ever say I have been scared before ….not really. All other issues were just trite babblings on my part relating ultimately to myself. But theses days of Mars rising I am scared not for me but for my daughter. I am near powerless to do anything but watch the state had my little girl back over to a women who has shown nothing but a lust for violence in the past back over to her rather than to me and my Father. I suppose they think a few weeks of anger management courses will undo a lifetime of human wreckage.
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