Sunday, July 29, 2007
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Irony
Self Indugent Pity Party
"Send home a hurricane hitch it to your feet. Boy you travel Boy go.
Far you travel far you get . Daddy took the honey sign. Vincent don't you go, Vincent Van Gogh,.Boy you trouble boy you get, can't take the heat.
You boy listen to your Gran.
Travel far but when you get …Go Boy, GO!"
We all have personal tragedies in our lives but to each of us individually each one is a little apocalypse, what can anyone really say?
You as the usher of my black swan soul
Walking just behind me as I walk among the slaughter house where I burned during the dying time
Where I ceased and I began again like some deformed phoenix
My silent partner…another relic
I was arson and you were ice
The flame and the frost both burn the naked sky open to the air and all the poisons the air can carry as vapor
Nothing survived but you and I
The bridge between us burned a brilliant tragic flame
Where did the wind leave you?
I suppose I drowned and my ghost ask you to show me the graveyard
Faded pictures are all that remain
Remain
Hold on
To what?
To where?
To what?
To when?
The memories are all that remain and they are here where I lay my head to rest
No voice I heard yet the message made my ears bleed
Only now in the tombs of self pity
Home, like me a ghost, a fading vision
What did the new dawns light show you
My sunset
Where did the new day find you?
Stronger than me no doubt but closer to the vipers teeth
Wearing the wounded cowards coat I fled the fire and found only frost
Wasted land for a home
You the snow-white queen stood the flame
So you remain
Yet the serpents still try to steal you name
Dual gift of promises broken and vows never met
Only you survived
In pain I lied with no excuse but that I myself am a lie
I am the bard the story teller
Falsify the truth and you can breath life into the pointless days we pass until nightfall
Self indulgent fantasy and a taste of insanity
I tried to stay the beast and failed
I mocked god and the universe, I as paid well for my sins in due course and left the path
My gamblers luck finally ran dry
Far you travel far you get . Daddy took the honey sign. Vincent don't you go, Vincent Van Gogh,.Boy you trouble boy you get, can't take the heat.
You boy listen to your Gran.
Travel far but when you get …Go Boy, GO!"
We all have personal tragedies in our lives but to each of us individually each one is a little apocalypse, what can anyone really say?
You as the usher of my black swan soul
Walking just behind me as I walk among the slaughter house where I burned during the dying time
Where I ceased and I began again like some deformed phoenix
My silent partner…another relic
I was arson and you were ice
The flame and the frost both burn the naked sky open to the air and all the poisons the air can carry as vapor
Nothing survived but you and I
The bridge between us burned a brilliant tragic flame
Where did the wind leave you?
I suppose I drowned and my ghost ask you to show me the graveyard
Faded pictures are all that remain
Remain
Hold on
To what?
To where?
To what?
To when?
The memories are all that remain and they are here where I lay my head to rest
No voice I heard yet the message made my ears bleed
Only now in the tombs of self pity
Home, like me a ghost, a fading vision
What did the new dawns light show you
My sunset
Where did the new day find you?
Stronger than me no doubt but closer to the vipers teeth
Wearing the wounded cowards coat I fled the fire and found only frost
Wasted land for a home
You the snow-white queen stood the flame
So you remain
Yet the serpents still try to steal you name
Dual gift of promises broken and vows never met
Only you survived
In pain I lied with no excuse but that I myself am a lie
I am the bard the story teller
Falsify the truth and you can breath life into the pointless days we pass until nightfall
Self indulgent fantasy and a taste of insanity
I tried to stay the beast and failed
I mocked god and the universe, I as paid well for my sins in due course and left the path
My gamblers luck finally ran dry
Labels: Drama, Rant Ramble and Repeat, Rant Ramble and Repeat 3, Saint Tuesday
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Nigger
"NIGGER"
An Essay by Christopher Stone
This morning there was a disturbance at my neighbor's apartment. Apparently, from what gather is that one tenant and one semi-tenant (?) were expelled by the other tenants. The event was something of a ruckus if shouting, banging noises and a police presence are indications.
Details are sketchy but then again, so are my neighbors. I keep a policy of friendly distance in regard to them. I don't exactly live in a slum but this complex is trying it's best to achieve that status.
The semi-tenant (?), a fellow named Lorenzo, came over here to ask my brother, Kevin, for a ride somewhere. He told me about the situation and that if they (He and the other tenant) didn't leave the premises they would be arrested. I informed him that my brother was fast asleep and out of gas. I also suggested several alternate options but these were rejected as they involved walking.
Lorenzo persisted. I decided to at least stand on ceremony and actually ASK my brother before I told him no any way. Neither Kevin nor myself care to have much to do with the folks in # 6. Enough said.
Kevin had the response I expected." I ain't getting involved in that shit".
I returned to the door and informed Lorenzo of Kevin's reply, albeit in an edited form. That was the end of our involvement of the affair.
The event was admittedly a rather mundane one. However it served as the catalyst for a bit of introspective thought.
You see, Lorenzo is black.
Why is that relative?
Wait.
I consider myself to be a very liberal and open-minded individual. My social attitudes should certainly reflect this. I accept people for who they are not what they look like or who they choose to sleep with. I surely am not a RACIST.
Right?
I remember a time about a year and half ago or so when I exercised my enlightened attitude. My fiancé, Shanzi, an I had adopted a cat and we were discussing possible names with her father. They thought it would a riot to name the cat "nigger".
I did not.
Proceeded to dress them down with a lecture on racism and use of the term "NIGGER".
Tic Toc, Tic Toc.
Well today I discovered a little something about myself.
I just might be a racist.
You see after Lorenzo had left and I had returned to my routine " a "joke" accrued to me. A disquieting "joke".
I thought wouldn't it have been funny if I gone up to Kevin and said "Hey, Kevin there's a nigger at the door for you".
Whoa, I AM NOT A RACIST!
Or am I?
I wonder. On the surface I ' not. I try to not judge people by the color of their skin…you know the rest. Notice the word "Try". I have to try not to be a racist. That implies some uncomfortable thoughts in my mind.
Damn.
If nothing else tit makes me a hypocrite. I really had no right to lecture Shanzi and her dad or any one else for that matter.
I began to speculate on this matter and racism in general Why would I have on thought like this (The nigger thing)? I really do believe in the equality of all peoples. It's is not just an act. That, however is an abstract. Was my liberal stance an unconscious mask for something more sinister? Have I based position on civil rights on the fact that I always pull for the underdog?
In short these are the conclusions I came to.
You must understand that I grew up in the Deep South, Georgia specifically.
The image of the Deep South is of course one of discrimination and rednecks. This is not true but it is close to mark. The south has come a long way from emancipation, KKK and the turmoil of the 60's. We are on par with any region of America if one cares to make a comparison. Don't get me wrong, we have racist and rednecks in abundance.
My Father was, without a doubt a racist, though these days his attitude…well it's greatly improved. My Mother was for the part the opposite. In ever have and do not consider her to a racist. Mother judged people based on their character not their color. She too, used the word nigger on few occasions. She did not use it around me or black people. The rare times I overheard it she used it in anger over some grievance put upon her by a black person. That sounds racist that's tricky argument. She was not referencing a person rather she was slinging an insult. It is difficult to separate past culture from current sensibilities.
Outside my mother I was surrounded by racist influences on all sides. On would assume I would grow up with some strong racist inclinations. That's a fair assumption but it is not the case. I do not consider myself to be a racist. At least that was the case until now.
Tic Toc, Tic Toc.
That said, am I a racist or not?
No. Yes. No. I don't know but let me lay my out attitudes for examination.
I have never, NEVER, said nigger to a black person as an insult. I do not use the word as an insult in any fashion or not whether in the company of black people or white people, I'm sure that I have thought it as evidenced today.
Regardless.
Racist blame blacks for any number of things based on ignorance, fear and tradition. Of course some people just need a THEM for their WE, Racist believe blacks to be inferior and responsible for anything from crime, principally crime. They believe blacks commit crimes and listen to rap because they are black. It is like believing that fire burns you because it is fire not because it's hot. They support their beliefs with statistics that reflect that most criminal acts are committed by blacks.
The statistics may be true but they are not an accurate gage to use when evaluating a population. True or not, they reflect culture and social circumstance.
Let me explain: I blame poverty and the rigid social structure of the America. It should be added that the two are intertwined. In the world of poverty people do what ever they have to do to survive. The have/have not situation breeds anger and contempt. Poor people can' not achieve a higher standard of living easily, black or white. Wherever you find a population in abject poverty you will find crime and resentment regardless of the populations race. Culture comes form social structure. Black people in particular have a difficult time. From slavery to current times is a long journey in a short time.
We should also add that as animals and it is programmed into our genes to be wary of anything but ourselves. We fear those outside our "tribe". That's nothing new.
However we have evolved a higher brain with self awareness. We are capable of introspection and reason. We can overcome our genetic impulses and cultural influences. We are able of reason. We have choice.
Those are my thoughts on the origins of racism.
Is the previous discourse "racist"? I can't say, I am biased.
In conclusion I'm no closer to an answer than when I begun. With my background and influences I guess there is an element of racism in my psyche. It is up to me too choose right over wrong. Understanding is the key improving who we are. If we acknowledge those elements with in us that we wish were not there we can change them…perhaps.
So, am I a racist?
You decide.
.
.
An Essay by Christopher Stone
This morning there was a disturbance at my neighbor's apartment. Apparently, from what gather is that one tenant and one semi-tenant (?) were expelled by the other tenants. The event was something of a ruckus if shouting, banging noises and a police presence are indications.
Details are sketchy but then again, so are my neighbors. I keep a policy of friendly distance in regard to them. I don't exactly live in a slum but this complex is trying it's best to achieve that status.
The semi-tenant (?), a fellow named Lorenzo, came over here to ask my brother, Kevin, for a ride somewhere. He told me about the situation and that if they (He and the other tenant) didn't leave the premises they would be arrested. I informed him that my brother was fast asleep and out of gas. I also suggested several alternate options but these were rejected as they involved walking.
Lorenzo persisted. I decided to at least stand on ceremony and actually ASK my brother before I told him no any way. Neither Kevin nor myself care to have much to do with the folks in # 6. Enough said.
Kevin had the response I expected." I ain't getting involved in that shit".
I returned to the door and informed Lorenzo of Kevin's reply, albeit in an edited form. That was the end of our involvement of the affair.
The event was admittedly a rather mundane one. However it served as the catalyst for a bit of introspective thought.
You see, Lorenzo is black.
Why is that relative?
Wait.
I consider myself to be a very liberal and open-minded individual. My social attitudes should certainly reflect this. I accept people for who they are not what they look like or who they choose to sleep with. I surely am not a RACIST.
Right?
I remember a time about a year and half ago or so when I exercised my enlightened attitude. My fiancé, Shanzi, an I had adopted a cat and we were discussing possible names with her father. They thought it would a riot to name the cat "nigger".
I did not.
Proceeded to dress them down with a lecture on racism and use of the term "NIGGER".
Tic Toc, Tic Toc.
Well today I discovered a little something about myself.
I just might be a racist.
You see after Lorenzo had left and I had returned to my routine " a "joke" accrued to me. A disquieting "joke".
I thought wouldn't it have been funny if I gone up to Kevin and said "Hey, Kevin there's a nigger at the door for you".
Whoa, I AM NOT A RACIST!
Or am I?
I wonder. On the surface I ' not. I try to not judge people by the color of their skin…you know the rest. Notice the word "Try". I have to try not to be a racist. That implies some uncomfortable thoughts in my mind.
Damn.
If nothing else tit makes me a hypocrite. I really had no right to lecture Shanzi and her dad or any one else for that matter.
I began to speculate on this matter and racism in general Why would I have on thought like this (The nigger thing)? I really do believe in the equality of all peoples. It's is not just an act. That, however is an abstract. Was my liberal stance an unconscious mask for something more sinister? Have I based position on civil rights on the fact that I always pull for the underdog?
In short these are the conclusions I came to.
You must understand that I grew up in the Deep South, Georgia specifically.
The image of the Deep South is of course one of discrimination and rednecks. This is not true but it is close to mark. The south has come a long way from emancipation, KKK and the turmoil of the 60's. We are on par with any region of America if one cares to make a comparison. Don't get me wrong, we have racist and rednecks in abundance.
My Father was, without a doubt a racist, though these days his attitude…well it's greatly improved. My Mother was for the part the opposite. In ever have and do not consider her to a racist. Mother judged people based on their character not their color. She too, used the word nigger on few occasions. She did not use it around me or black people. The rare times I overheard it she used it in anger over some grievance put upon her by a black person. That sounds racist that's tricky argument. She was not referencing a person rather she was slinging an insult. It is difficult to separate past culture from current sensibilities.
Outside my mother I was surrounded by racist influences on all sides. On would assume I would grow up with some strong racist inclinations. That's a fair assumption but it is not the case. I do not consider myself to be a racist. At least that was the case until now.
Tic Toc, Tic Toc.
That said, am I a racist or not?
No. Yes. No. I don't know but let me lay my out attitudes for examination.
I have never, NEVER, said nigger to a black person as an insult. I do not use the word as an insult in any fashion or not whether in the company of black people or white people, I'm sure that I have thought it as evidenced today.
Regardless.
Racist blame blacks for any number of things based on ignorance, fear and tradition. Of course some people just need a THEM for their WE, Racist believe blacks to be inferior and responsible for anything from crime, principally crime. They believe blacks commit crimes and listen to rap because they are black. It is like believing that fire burns you because it is fire not because it's hot. They support their beliefs with statistics that reflect that most criminal acts are committed by blacks.
The statistics may be true but they are not an accurate gage to use when evaluating a population. True or not, they reflect culture and social circumstance.
Let me explain: I blame poverty and the rigid social structure of the America. It should be added that the two are intertwined. In the world of poverty people do what ever they have to do to survive. The have/have not situation breeds anger and contempt. Poor people can' not achieve a higher standard of living easily, black or white. Wherever you find a population in abject poverty you will find crime and resentment regardless of the populations race. Culture comes form social structure. Black people in particular have a difficult time. From slavery to current times is a long journey in a short time.
We should also add that as animals and it is programmed into our genes to be wary of anything but ourselves. We fear those outside our "tribe". That's nothing new.
However we have evolved a higher brain with self awareness. We are capable of introspection and reason. We can overcome our genetic impulses and cultural influences. We are able of reason. We have choice.
Those are my thoughts on the origins of racism.
Is the previous discourse "racist"? I can't say, I am biased.
In conclusion I'm no closer to an answer than when I begun. With my background and influences I guess there is an element of racism in my psyche. It is up to me too choose right over wrong. Understanding is the key improving who we are. If we acknowledge those elements with in us that we wish were not there we can change them…perhaps.
So, am I a racist?
You decide.
.
.
About me
- I'm Saint Tuesday
- From Elberton, Georgia, United States
- Crabby and clever. I am both kind and crunchy. Though many think John was the Walrus in truth it was Paul, me? I am the Grey Mouse.
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