Self-mutilation is not the only facet of my complex personality
When I encounter people on the street the market place or in the workplace, the first thing they notice, I'm convinced, are the self-inflicted burns and scars on my forearms. Sure, I can see how it might seem at first glance, like I devote all my time to burning and branding my flesh. Nothing could be further from the truth.For starters, I love to read. Be it fiction, non-fiction, health pamphlets warning against the dangers of self mutilation-I'll read just about anything I can get my hands on. I guess I just have an over the top, addictive personality! Because once I pick up a book or anything hot, you practically have to sedate me with thorazine to put it down! It's hard to explain, but the pleasure I get from books goes much deeper than just words on a page. I love the way a book feels in my hand. The familiar smell of the paper and ink. Also the I enjoy the way a single page feels when held firmly between the index finger and thumb while being pulled sharply against the flesh and can create a deeply satisfying cut.I also adore cooking and make my living as a sous chef. After a long day there is nothing I look forward to more than rolling up my sleeves, grabbing a sharp chefs knife and slicing…slicing…slicing some …vegetables…yes vegetables for a stir fry. Maybe it's the fragrant aroma of fresh herbs and spices sizzling in the pan that calms the spirit and sooths the pains of the day away. There is nothing so calming as the sound and smell of raw meat hitting a blazingly hot sauté pan.That reminds me of another favorite pastime; gardening! For me gardening is just like therapy except that with gardening I am usually alone so no one is there to ask me why I have branded "Help Me" into my arm.Another thing you might never guess about me is that I am learning to sew! Sure it was frustrating at first and yes there were a few times when I got frustrated with my lack of progress and responded by jabbing the needle repeatedly into my thigh, but after a while I started to get the hang of it. Man it was worth it too. Now I don't have to go to the tailor everytime I need one of my shirt/coat buttons replaced, or to the hospital every time I need stitches!
When I encounter people on the street the market place or in the workplace, the first thing they notice, I'm convinced, are the self-inflicted burns and scars on my forearms. Sure, I can see how it might seem at first glance, like I devote all my time to burning and branding my flesh. Nothing could be further from the truth.For starters, I love to read. Be it fiction, non-fiction, health pamphlets warning against the dangers of self mutilation-I'll read just about anything I can get my hands on. I guess I just have an over the top, addictive personality! Because once I pick up a book or anything hot, you practically have to sedate me with thorazine to put it down! It's hard to explain, but the pleasure I get from books goes much deeper than just words on a page. I love the way a book feels in my hand. The familiar smell of the paper and ink. Also the I enjoy the way a single page feels when held firmly between the index finger and thumb while being pulled sharply against the flesh and can create a deeply satisfying cut.I also adore cooking and make my living as a sous chef. After a long day there is nothing I look forward to more than rolling up my sleeves, grabbing a sharp chefs knife and slicing…slicing…slicing some …vegetables…yes vegetables for a stir fry. Maybe it's the fragrant aroma of fresh herbs and spices sizzling in the pan that calms the spirit and sooths the pains of the day away. There is nothing so calming as the sound and smell of raw meat hitting a blazingly hot sauté pan.That reminds me of another favorite pastime; gardening! For me gardening is just like therapy except that with gardening I am usually alone so no one is there to ask me why I have branded "Help Me" into my arm.Another thing you might never guess about me is that I am learning to sew! Sure it was frustrating at first and yes there were a few times when I got frustrated with my lack of progress and responded by jabbing the needle repeatedly into my thigh, but after a while I started to get the hang of it. Man it was worth it too. Now I don't have to go to the tailor everytime I need one of my shirt/coat buttons replaced, or to the hospital every time I need stitches!
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